Inalterable
by Kosaten
Summary: AU - We have to take responsibility for our actions. No matter how hard we wish, we will never be able to change our pasts


Disclaimer - Nope, I own nothing.  
  
To my friend ,Ryan, who inspired me. ^_^  
  
Have you ever watched the grains of sand filter to the bottom of an hour glass? Has such a simple thing ever mesmerized you? Perhaps be put in a trance by the ticking of the clocks' song? Time is one of the most precious things in existence. For time is immortal and can not be altered. You see in movies how several are able to do the impossible and time travel. Impossible is all it is. It would be impossible for a being to time travel.   
  
We have to take responsibility for our actions. No matter how hard we wish, we will never be able to change our pasts. What's done is done and there is nothing we can do about it.  
  
My real name is Shiro, Onigumo. I was a shy, selfish, demanding child. For hopes of a better future I changed everything about myself, including my name. I renamed myself to Kuroi, Naraku. I worked hard to put up a barrier between the world and my myself. I deliberately failed tests and constantly disturbed my science class. I never liked school. If I was going to learn things I was going to learn them the only proper way there was; the hard way. Professors and students alike failed to see my logic and scolded me for not being a solider in their barracks.   
  
I wanted to live my life to the fullest. I saw no happiness in spending all my days trapped in a hell hole with hundreds of others. I felt like I was in a concentration camp as knowledge was shoved down my throat with a spoon. I often skipped classes, only to end up being punished afterwards. I felt as if they all weren't seeing that everyone wasn't like them. That what they were doing wasn't for my best, but rather to torture me. I truly was confused and at the same time a little intrigued at their actions.   
  
The more I thought about it and the more I lived on this way I began to think I was doing it all wrong. I became more confused with each passing day. It was driving me into depression. Darkness was crawling over me and drowning me into a sea of lost hope. I was mentally suffocating.   
  
One night I sat up late into the night rethinking about my actions and way of life. Of course I had still wanted to live life to fullest, but now that all seemed like a far off dream. How was I to accomplish my goal when I just kept killing myself? That night I screamed. I was so frustrated and even more bewildered. The more I thought the more morose I became.   
  
I began to envy my peers. They seemed all together and happy. They were living my dream, my fantasy. I hated them for that. I wanted to break them, to make them suffer like me. But then I thought about it more. I came to the conclusion that I had nothing to truly agonize over.   
  
I began multiple attempts of suicide, seeing my existence as a disgrace. I had a knife in my hand when a fragment of my past slipped through my precious barrier. Before I changed I had often gone to the park. Being as I was I hadn't very many friends. I remembered tripping over my own feet and banging my head on the nearby swing set. I remembered a girl with long, raven black hair that had scurried over to me and helped me stand. She walked me home and gave me a Band Aid. She had said her name was Kikyo and we soon became the best of friends. I shut her out though, along with everyone else. We became enemies over time and in my first year of highschool she was murdered. I was the one that had killed her. I didn't know what I was thinking. To tell you the truth I don't even think I was.   
  
I got away with her murder. How? I'm not sure. I don't remember even killing her, but something inside of me knew that I did. The only thing of the incident I can recall was seeing her deceased form fall to the ground with a thud and feeling her warm blood between my fingers.   
  
The police came to investigate a day after the crime was committed. There was no real evidence that I was there. In fact there was hardly any evidence at all. The police took the neighbors' word. They said they had seen Kikyo's current boyfriend, Inuyasha, enter and leave the day of her death.  
  
Inuyasha was a hanyou. Which meant he was half-demon and half-human. Now keep in mind that anyone with demon blood was discriminated against, out of fear. I should know, being a hanyou myself.   
  
However the one thing that bewildered me the most was that I didn't even feel guilty. I felt nothing knowing that I had destroyed not one life, but two. The worse thing is that when Inuyasha was being arrest by the police at school I had laughed. I laughed because I was so happy that someone else was suffering. I wanted to do more. I wanted to break everyone within range of me.   
  
I joined Aisu, the toughest and fiercest gang in all of Kyoto. I worked my way to the top and eventually became the leader. I organized raids and killed numerous amounts of people. I never once got caught.   
  
Then it happened. Just last night I had come home from a gang shooting. I was tired and crawled into my bed. A lump formed in my throat and I sprinted off to the bathroom in my four room apartment. I slammed the door behind me and vomited into the toilet. My vision blurred and I felt a warm liquid drip from between my fingers.   
  
I put my hand on the cream colored wall and dizzily made my way to the sink. I turned the faucet on and splashed my face with the cold water. I closed my eyes. Pain throbbed in my head as if my brain was bashing into my skull. I opened my eyes and saw blood on my hands. I stuck them in the sink and tried to wash them. I began to panic when I noticed it wasn't coming off. I scrubbed harder, my heart racing. I closed my eyes and opened them back up. The blood was gone.   
  
I went back to bed mortified. My sinister acts giving me insomnia. The next day I quit Aisu and fled to Tokyo. I changed my appearance and my name to Shiki, Arashi. I went back to highschool and stayed low, knowing that if Aisu were to find me I would be killed.  
  
Author's Note - This is just a prologue. I wanted to know how people would react if I wrote a fanfic through Naraku's point of view. Review and tell me what you think. Should I just make this a huge summary or write the story where he is Arashi? Please tell me. Thank you.  
  
P.S.  
  
I won't write first chappy till I have at least three reviews from this. . .sorry. Thank you. 


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